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Ford Sees Off Two Daughters To Mysterious Indian Suitor

An Arranged Marriage
We’re on the grassy, picket fenced front lawn of anywhere Suburbia where father Ford hugs mother Mercury close. Grandmother Lincoln is away and unconcerned; busying herself on some manicured lane in Naples.

Mr. Ford with starched handkerchief wipes a tear from the missus’ misty eye while they wave off their two adopted British daughters – Jaguar and Land Rover.

The neighbors stare unbelieving through their windows. They’re a little stunned not just by the parade of elephants and footmen, but by the fact that Mr. Ford gave not one but two of his daughters away to some mysterious, self-proclaimed maharaja who promised riches beyond the dreams of avarice in return.

Onlookers, the British press namely, are busy tossing rice and singing hallelujah while American bankers stand near with suitcases stuffed with dollars.

You see, this suitor didn’t have the cash necessary on hand to pay for these ladies up front. So, he had to borrow – just like Mr. Ford did last year (times have been tough at the Ford household what with the credit crunch et al.)

The eager maharaja committed to what’s known as a “bridge loan” amounting to a tidy $3 Billion courtesy Citi and JP Morgan >>>. Jaguar and Land Rover’s wholesale price was only $2.3 Billion which leaves $700 million extra for expenses.

After all we’ve got to keep in mind that there’s not one but two weddings and two honeymoons to pay for. But at least for the Fords, they can now breathe a little easier knowing that they’ve rid themselves of two financial drains.

They’re the maharaja’s problem now.

[Reuters >>>]